After the Affair

It’s world shattering.  If your partner was unfaithful, your world just turned upside down.  Whether it was a physical or emotional affair, you may be feeling rage, jealousy, and sadness.  You may also have many questions.  Should I stay?  Will I ever trust my partner again?  Has our whole life been a lie?  Will I always feel this way?  What do I do now? 

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If you are the one who had the affair, you may feel terrible at hurting your partner.  Yet, you just want to put the affair behind you instead of talking about it all the time.  You may not be sure how and why you were unfaithful.  You may not be sure how to answer your partner’s questions.  

Both of you may find it hard to imagine how your relationship can heal from the affair and how it can move forward.  Couples therapy provides a safe and structured space for both of you to share your feelings, and with guidance and support figure out a way forward.  Not all relationships can be saved after an affair.  The couples who want to try to create a loving, mutually fulfilling relationship after an affair must be willing to work on the relationship.