COUPLES THERAPY

You love each other, but you’ve fallen into an unhappy cycle you can’t seem to break.

At one time, you had a great relationship – you were in love, you saw the good in your partner, and communication felt natural and productive. Then life happened. Minor disagreements and misunderstanding became arguments, then big fights…often followed by days of the silent treatment.

Over time, you’ve both withdrawn from the relationship to avoid addressing the issues. And it’s created resentments you never thought possible. Today, you feel unheard and misunderstood, shying away from sharing your feelings in order to avoid yet another fight.

It’s when these challenges are left unaddressed, expectations not openly discussed, and issues left unresolved that you find yourself disconnected from your partner. The pattern that emerges turns a once happy, fulfilling relationship into a lonely, frustrating cycle that feels impossible to break out of.

You still remember the good times, the laughter, the teamwork and partnership you once had (and still occasionally see). And you want it back! You want to connect with your partner on a deeper level, where both of you feel comfortable sharing your feelings, frustrations, and joys with one another. You want to grow closer together, find common ground, and express yourself in your relationship in healthy and productive ways.

Enter: Couples Therapy

Couples therapy will help you and your partner get under the surface to uncover what brought you both to this point in your relationship. There is deeper stuff that neither of you want to talk about, yet is impacting both you as individuals and your relationship: the unspoken expectations, half truths, and issues from your childhood and past relationships that come up at the most inopportune times.

We’ll process and address these issues together. We will work to heal resentments, uncover and address underlying problems, and create new, healthier ways of showing up for each other in your relationship.

You both want to feel valued in your relationship. You want to feel seen, heard, and understood. You want to feel loved again. You want to work together and be partners, not roommates. That’s what I can help you do.

Let’s talk about how therapy can help.
Call me at 612-808-0953 or get in touch.

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Areas of couples counseling I specialize in:

• Restoring emotional intimacy
• Communication breakdowns
• Conflict resolution
• Trust issues
• Parenting challenges

You may be wondering about Couples & Marriage Therapy

Isn’t couples therapy for people on the brink of divorce?

Imagine you have a house. It was once a great house, with a solid foundation, sturdy walls, and a brand new roof. Then life happened, storms came and went. You now have a shaky foundation, cracking walls and the roof is leaking. You could get a new house. Or let this one fall apart. But you care for and love this house. You want to give it a chance. So you invest time, care and money to renovate it. And that’s what couples therapy does for your relationship – it gives you space to nurture your relationship and give it the love and care it deserves.

Couple after working with marriage therapy Shoreview Minnesota

Are we going to talk about emotions? Because I’d rather not.

We’re not going to so much talk about emotions, but rather feel them, become familiar with them, start recognizing them, and start noticing what you do when you feel a specific emotion. This all gives you feedback and you can then decide what to do. Overtime, instead of reacting you take the time to respond.

Do we really need couples therapy?

I get it! Choosing to go to therapy is a big decision. It is perfectly fine if you’re feeling unsure about couples therapy. I offer a no-obligation consultation where we can address your questions and determine if this is the right next step for you.

If you are both still invested in your relationships and want to see it improve, then couples therapy may be the best investment you can make in rediscovering the love and connection you know is still there.

Frequently Asked Questions
About Couples & Marriage Therapy

How does couples therapy work?

It’s important that we establish a strong foundation of understanding where you and your relationship started as we begin couples therapy together. Our first 4 weeks are structured to build that foundation.

Week 1: You and your partner join me for an initial introduction to your relationship history and what’s bringing you to therapy. This is a 45 minute initial session.

Weeks 2 and 3: I meet with you and your partner separately to focus on understanding each f your family histories and how you grew up, since these early experiences can have a big impact on our adult lives whether we realize that or not.

Week 4: We come back together to begin goal setting. This is a collaborative exercise where we identify what you hope to get out of couples therapy.

From there, we use the goals established in week 4 to guide our weekly sessions. Each session is 60 minutes long. Longer sessions are available and we can decide together what session length will work best for you.

I’m afraid you will “take sides” during couples therapy.

It’s understandable to worry that I won’t be an objective third party, especially when things get tense in session. My clients often comment on how calm I remain during times like this. My job is to act as an advocate for your relationship, not one partner or the other. If you want your relationship to work, then we’re on the same team.

How long do we need to be in therapy?

The clients who experience the most change in their relationships are often the ones who are willing to stay and dig deeper under the surface to uncover the root of their challenges, and this can take time. Some couples come in for a few sessions and are ready to move on. Others work with me for 6 to 12 months. Ultimately, the duration of our work together is up to you.

My partner won’t attend couple therapy. Can I see you by myself?

Certainly. Relationship therapy is effective even when done with only one partner. Your personal growth can have positive effect on your relationships. You’ll also learn communication skills and strategies you can use with your partner right away.

How do we get started?

If you have questions, schedule a 15-minute phone consultation with me. I’ll answer any questions you and your partner have about couples therapy and what to expect. If we’re a good fit, we’ll schedule your intake appointment and begin working together toward the reconnection you’re looking for. I can’t wait to hear from you!

Get in touch at 612-808-0953.